What do you do about a housemate that you fear may have some serious psychological illness? She goes ballistic every time someone confronts her about it. Should we call her mom?
MM: It depends on what you mean by “serious psychological illness.” Unless you physically feel like she may harm someone, including herself, it’s probably best to not confront her about it because she honestly may not have an illness—anyone would be offended at the assertion otherwise. If you do fear for the safety of herself or others, you should call campus police at extension 2222.
AB: If you really think calling up anybody’s mom is the best option, you probably should not be allowed to live on your own yet. “Oh, Sarah smashed another plate in the kitchen because she was angry, maybe we should call her mom?”, “Oh, Karen can’t maintain a steady relationship so she’s cutting Joy Division lyrics into her leg, maybe we should tell her mom?” Give me a break. If you are going to call anyone, give me a call and I’ll straighten this girl out. I’ll give her something to go crazy over. They say I put the “ball” in “ballistic,” you know.
Is it morally wrong to have sex in a dorm room while your roommate is in the room?
MM: I’m not in a position to judge morals necessarily, but I can tell you that your roommate probably wouldn’t appreciate it unless it’s consensual. Generally, if you don’t feel comfortable asking if it’s okay, it’s a good policy to avoid doing it.
AB: I had sex in my dorm room three times a day my freshman year and my roommate never objected to the act, not even once. Granted, it was with myself, and my roommate was always asleep, but hell, I did it within an earshot, or more specifically, while standing over his bed, and this never seemed to pose a problem. While I’m also not one to say what exactly is and isn’t morally sound, I vote yes, and if gives you any lip, plead that you were just trying to encourage growth between the two of you. That easily transforms it from creepy to cute.
Dear I’m Right. You’re Wrong,
Is it okay that I don’t get wet? It feels like sandpaper when my lover thrusts into me. I love sex but I’m allergic to lube. Help me.
MM: It’s natural to not get wet, but maybe you should try foreplay for a little while longer. Natural female lubrication only usually happens when the woman is worked up completely, so more foreplay might help. If that doesn’t work, you need to identify which kind of lubricant you are allergic to by checking the brands you’ve used. There are both glycerin-based and silicone-based lubricants, so you could always use the alternative once you figure it out. Whatever you do, DO NOT use baby oil, hand lotion, massage oil, Vaseline, butter or cooking oil as these substances will break down the latex in condoms, and the creams could have perfume that may cause allergic reactions to both male and female genitals.
AB: Don’t worry, darlin’. This is perfectly normal. In my experience, very rarely do girls get wet during intercourse. Chin up—you’re not alone.
Dear I’m Right. You’re Wrong, I hate queefing. How can I prevent that puff of vagina air? Sincerely, Puff Mami.
MM: Queefing is an unfortunate by-product of having intercourse, and if you want to prevent it from ever happening again, you’ll have to prevent yourself from ever having sex again. Certain positions make it worse, as does the guy withdrawing too far between strokes, basically letting air in, then forcing it out. You could try asking him to not do that and to avoid certain positions, but you’ll have to figure out which cause it the most for you (it’s typically “doggy-style”). The best idea is to learn to laugh at it, and continue with your gettin’ on.
AB: Though some consider my sexual exploits a tad obscure, I always use a shoehorn when exiting my partner’s vag. It is not the most romantic thing in the world, but neither is farting out of your cunt. Just sayin’.
