Generally speaking, books by comedians are a mixed bag. They can be quite enjoyable if done right, but often times they can be long, and tedious, and can make you forget whatever you loved about the comic in the first place. The key is whether or not the comedian’s material translates well to the written word. For example, the dry humor of John Hodgman made a seamless transition in The Areas of My Expertise, while the angry ranting of Lewis Black, while still funny, lost some of its bite in book form with his release of Nothing’s Sacred. When I heard Eugene Mirman, one of the funniest comedians working today, had released a book, I was excited, but apprehensive. On the one hand, Mirman’s act involves a lot of sight gags, which had a great deal of potential. On the other hand, his sarcastic delivery is a key part of his humor, and I wondered how he would do without it. It could’ve gone either way, but The Will to Whatevs turned out to be nothing short of brilliant. This is one of the funniest books I’ve ever read, and it sent me into convulsive fits of laughter on numerous occassions.

The concept behind the book is very similar to Stephen Colbert’s I Am America (And So Can You), in that the material in the book is presented as a guide to life with each chapter presenting you with advice for separate situations. Colbert’s book is certainly a high watermark to aspire to, but Mirman manages to surpass it with a brand of comedy that’s just too weird for words. One truly inspired moment comes in a chapter about parenting, in which he advises you to “never put a child in a Punishment Bag” to discipline your children. Later on, he gives you advice on “Figuratively coming out of the closet, literally revealing you are gay,” which includes telling your parents “The years 1954-1988 called—they want their world view back.” His dry sarcasm does quite well in book form. All of its bite is still intact.

The book is divided into such chapters as “The Fifty N’s of Nightlife: Parties, Prostitutes, Bar Crawls (Never Do One)” and “The Heart, The Penis, and Mrs. Vagina: Love, Sex, and How to Find a Mate Before You Die.” In these chapters he does a brilliant job of skewering advice books by giving us advice that would never work out in real life, but is very entertaining. In the end, this book really has nothing to say about life, but you’ll be too busy laughing to care. Its wisdom lies in the fact that it doesn’t have any; it’s purely there for your entertainment.

I don’t think I can put it more clearly: I love this book. I love the crap out of it. I love it like a fat kid loves cake. And if you have even the slightest bit of taste in comedy, you’ll love it too. So, get away from that ten-page essay you’re writing, and do something important. Head down to your local bookstore to pick up a book that is guaranteed to melt your fucking face.

You need this book. Buy it now, and be cooler than all your lame friends who don’t buy it. They suck.