P E R S O N A L S
To the Asian couple who live next door to me: If you’re going to beat the shit out of each
other for an hour as a form of foreplay, at least have the sex last longer the 10 sec so the rest of us on the floor can stop laughing at you 2 and go to sleep.
to the douchebag who was making fun of the ratherly obese kid who always wears shorts. his name is burgles and he is the man. ladies hes single!!!
The egg fucking came first, chickens just came in and monopolized the industry.
I like it when you wear stripes. I like it when you bite your bottom lip. Hi. I think you’re pretty cute.
To the two dudes that we smoked with after flip night, Phil and what’s your face. Sorry for passing out in your bathroom for however long I passed out in your bathroom for. Drinks on me next time. -Tall kid
can one of the clubs or frats or something have a chiavetta’s chicken dinner fundraiser? i’d most definitely support their cause, even if they’re asian.
dear boy who said good day to me on the sweet home bus- I would like you to get inside of me. you are a cute little foreigner and your cologne smells really good. dont be shy. I give good head.
dear pony tail haired sweet home bus driver, Next time the bus is full can I sit on your lap? ps, I dont wear panties.
dear sweethome girls that live below us- you havent called the CA or the cops on us in awhile. is everything alright?
just becuase i tried to forcefully put it in your ass does not make me gay, it only means i have no respect for you.
To the guy who made me a frozen chocolate chai at perks: the amount of whipped cream you put on top was kinky. I think we should have food sex.
Do you ever fart on the treadmill and get nervous that everyone around you just heard you? Even though you had your headphones in and you have no clue how loud your flatulence was... I do.
To my sexy Russian TA that I had last semester for Physics: I love you
to the psycho bitch who handcuffed herself to the bed... Get on top. Do your thing. and get the fuck out. DON’T EVER FUCKING COME BACK!
To the douche bag editor of generation that is railing my friend...HIGH FIVE!
Which one?
To the girl in the mens blazer...you are hot
Tool in Ulc ***.Who are you front running to win the world series this year? I mean you wore a Yankees hat Monday and Mets hat Wednesday. you cant even say you wore them for style you wore the Yankees hats with a black shirt. Blavy?
To the kid who used to think hes irish but he’s really british. FUCK you and your dominoes pizza
STOP WEARING PANTS
If you don’t know what a pterodactyl is you’re a fucking idiot
To the hot brunette in my orgo lab with the awesome boobs, I hope you continue to show them off for the rest of the semester.
Dear Campus Cafe, thank you so much, for ur very generous 3 day offer of spend 18$ on a tuna salad and get a small fountain drink for free!
You never call anymore. Is it because you don’t like my socks? I will trim the stripes off of the tops of my favorite tube socks for you.
Poppycock
Cashier with the braces at the elli... I saw that face you made... I know you thought we were high... and we were!! Thanks for checking my pupils mom.
are swedish fish hotter than regular fish?
To the guy who sits on the other side of the room from me in philosophy... I see you looking at me looking at you looking at me... but, sorry, I only like black cock. :)
Dear Hot Asian Physics TA.
I wish I was your derivative so I could lay tangent to your curves
why did we try to build an ice rink the only week its warm?!
secrets, secrets ARE SO MUCH FUN!!!1! if you don’t share with anyone.
suck my dick or im taking you to jail
my jizz apply directly to the forehead. MY JIZZ APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD. MY JIZZ!
To the Vietnamese girl from rochester who lives on my floor i enjoyed it when you sucked my dick like a vacuum
To the girl at Hubies with the braces i hope you get thrown off the empire state building and land on a bicycle with no seat
Dear help desk guy that broke me back into the office. Here is the personal I promised you. Good joerb!
are you the size of a pencil or a water bottle?
Stapler, actually. Swingline!
McLovin’. Wages paid in orange pubes. Put it on Facebook! Love, that puke-faced girl you made out with on the drunk bus.
I’m a ghost..ghost-a-rican
I hope you’re happy, Nick
Dear ***, next time you ask to explore my anal cavity with your ponytail I’m going to cockslap you until you develop a lazy eye. Fuck off you animal abusing bitch
To the colorbling jew with the exceptional titties, I want to fuck you while you wear your grandpa’s converse. I’d cum to ct anyday for those hairy titties. p.s. i love the beard,
To the retard who steps in puke, you must have shit for brains. Get a fucking clue dumbass.
Pinkerton ftw!!!11! Omgz teh Rivers!
Oh FUCK I’m totally gonna motorboat that burrito.
WelCum to Moe’s!
I dont care what anyone thinks. ANIME ROCKS!
To my ENG *** professor, take off your glasses so I can tell if you’re hot or not.
To my blonde co-worker, for the love of god, please let me smell your shoes.
Did anyone see that dude flip out during the speed dating session? Relax man, bitches aint shit
Roses are red/Violets are blue/you get me so flustered/I forget how to rhyme sometimes.
Who else had a threesome on Valentine’s day? and yes, by threesome, I mean jerked off with both hands at the same time
forget chocolate roses, I got my girlfriend a chocolate fish for v-day because she’s a reel catch HAR HAR HAR
if i could fight any celebrty, it’d be jennifer love hewitt....i’d stick my head up her butt and fight for air.
Your bitch looks like a chimpmunk.
Wait, chipmunk.
No, chimpmunk. That is funnuer. You know, lik a chimp too, rite?
UNF UNF
To the spikey haired motherfucker that eats the jew food. Your hair is gay.
MASTER! MASTER! THE TIME? THE TIME IS......noW!!11!
WoW? I’m game.
