P E R S O N A L S
To the boy in my economics class: Your hair looks great. I love the new cut. You look wonderful. Please, never be insecure about your lovely locks.
Dear best friend, I love you so much. You are always there for rain, shine or me.
I get very happy when people knit me cozy sweaters. There is love knitted between the strands of yarn. I’m sure of it.
The girl that I went on a date with on Tuesday—the ice cream was sweet, but you are sweeter. I hope to continue this courtship so that I can treat you like a proper lady and respect your femininity.
I hold the door for people to make their days that much brighter. I feel like I’m doing something good.
I don’t know why people don’t donate all of their old clothes to charity. I just donated my favorite purple corduroy jumper because it doesn’t fit me nemorrre!!!!11!!!!!!11!!1!
Yesterday I was walking down Baldy walkway, and I saw a boy in a yellow and blue stripped polo. You looked really confused, and you were wearing glasses and working on an Excel spreadsheet. You might be my soulmate.
To all the people banging drums in the SU on Saturday. Play louder next time, you guys have talent!
MOAR BAKESAILS. I <3 CUPCAKES
I would pick you daisies even if my mean neighbor yelled at me for ruining her flowers.
The other day I saw you eating a lollipop. Sticky and sweet. Won’t you share with me? We can hold hands and tumble down hills, but not with the confections in our mouths. We wouldn’t want to choke.
Thank you for the plastic dinos!
thesauruses are SEXY
It is almost Fantasy Island season. Be my paddle boat partner?
Sometimes I get really frustrated. And I watch retuns of Lambchop. And then I’m all better.
I saw a girl in the SU wearing super tight pants and I wanted to bend her over and mend the hole in her pocket.
Hey Generation, How come you never print my personals? Were they inappropriate? If so, I sincerely apologize. Can you please print this one so everyone knows how sorry I am?
To the cute girl in my UE*** class that wears scarves. I wish you would come over and take me shopping so that we can buy them together!
Boy on the Clemens elevator: Your jokes are not funny. No one deserves to be persecuted for his or her religious beliefs. Please be more respectful, especially in such a diverse environment.
To the Japanese immigrant student standing in line ahead of me at Starbucks: you were so interesting to speak with, if only for a short while. I welcome you to the university and I appreciate your culture.
If everyone shared their favorite fruits and vegetables we would all have a much richer supply of vitamins and minerals. Let me know if anyone wants to prepare some healthy snacks!
Usually when I see homeless people outside I give them money if they ask. I figure that if they didn’t need it, they wouldn’t ask. I don’t question them. I just like the feeling that I get in my tummy when I help out.
The other day at Wegmans across from north campus, the cashier forgot to ring up my Kaishi fiber-enriched cereal and I didn’t notice until I was already in my car heading home. Needless to say, I went right back in and handed the lady at the service desk $3.75
You make me nervous, but in a good way. ^__^
Thank you for scrapbooking with me last Tuesday. I appreciate the fact that you don’t need alcohol to have a good time and I love pasting my photos onto your acid free paper.
The other day I ate a Clementine and I thought of you.
I want to kiss you.
Dear girl who I leant my fleece jacket to outside of the union on Saturday night…you looked really cute and I hope that you kept warm and got home safe!
Dear Spectrum. Your April Fools issue was hilarious. Keep up the good work.
To the cute, charming, teddy bear that told me he respects campus journalism—will you be mine?
JASON MRAZ, MARRY MEEEE! YR SEW KYOOOOOT OMG OMG, I’M YOURS.
I’ll be your Lisa Loeb if you’ll be my plastic-framed glasses. I want my eyelashes to flicker on your lenses.
MOM AND DAD: THANKS FOR ALL THE SUPPORT!!!!11!!!!1!!!1!
Cute boy who reads comic books, can we please swap rarities?! I’ll organize your collection if you organize mine! I EVEN HAVE PLASTIC COVER SLEEVES AND I LOVE TO SHARE!!!!
Hey bff. This has been the happiest six months ever. Lets get married on a whale. We can have the reception in a bounce house and honey moon in France. I always wanted a legitimate excuse to wear a beret anyway
Don’t be a litter bug, recycle your waste!
WHO THINKS I SHOULD BUILD A LEMONADE STAND ON CAMPUS? SHOW OF HANDS?
If we were on the oregon trail, and you got cholorea, I would stop so you could extra rest and I would buy you extra food instead of buying an extra axel and yoke CUZ THOSE AINT NO THANG
To the guy I met at frat party on Winspear last week. You didn’t have to give me all of those drinks, but you especially didn’t have to call my dad and have him pick me up and drive me back to North. Lets get tea this week!
If I was coloring the sky with you, I’d let you choose the blue.
It was nice of you to make all of those pancakes on my birthday!!!
To the girl I’m totally crushing on: Why don’t you come over on Saturday night. We can find our Easter baskets in the morning and get brunch!
Hey guys with the beer pong table in front of their house on Custer: Play safe!
TO MY SPANISH TA. THANKS FOR THE ORAL. I CAN’T BELIEVE I GOT AN A!!!!! MY GPA IS GOING TO BREAK 3.0 THIS YEAR!
To my staff: You are all wonderful, diligent workers and I could not ask for anything more! Love, boss.
Blonde girl that t-boned my car near Flint: Its ok we all have bad days-that’s what insurance is 4.
Hey Peter and John. It was a great two years!
Houses wit h shutters look so charming.
You do not need botox. You look marvelous, Cindy.
To the girl I like: You don’t need to wear make-up, but can we shop for it together anyway? I like holding your purse while you try to find your wallet.
Sometimes I just wanna lay in bed with you and stare into your eyes.
If we played Super Mario together I would always let you be Luigi. I know how much you like the color green!
Gr8ful for helth and happiness!
The Sandlot makes dogs seem scary. They aren’t scary. They are just full of slobbery wuvs.
Tell your mom thanks for all the rides home from school.
Here is a haiku / about the way your hair looks / it looks really great!
Although I am an ESL student, I still try to communicate affections of you in our PSY class with looks and my cheeks to become warm. I to learn the word favorite today and I think it matches my thoughts to you.
To the boy who fabricated copulation with the girl on his corduroy couch. I hope it was consensual!
STUDY BUDDIES!!!!11!!!!11
To the boy that wore the green laces last year. Your new kicks are wayyyyy more snazzy.
If you were a pencil, I’d be afraid 2 write with u bc i wouldnt wanna break your tip bcuz i wouldnt wanna sharpen you again. you know?
I’m going to the bathroom. Can you order my falafel for me? You know I don’t like pickles...I don’t have to tell you that!
I am scared that when my hairs fall out you won’t like me. But you always tell me that you will =)
Thank you for the banana bread. Sometimes I wish you were an oven technician so that we could bake together everyday!
Let’s get messed up the ol fashioned way 2nite...meet me on the track so we can catch that runners high
Dude, I love coming home and bangin my wife every night for the rest of my life. I never get sick of it!!!
Can we watch Pee Wee’s Big Adventure together? I like it when he gets his bike back.
Shoot, I hope I didn’t ruin it for you.
To the girl I met at Mojos. No thank you. I do not feel like it would be a smart life decision to participate in such lude behavior.
You know what’s sexy? STD TESTING
