Why is “John 3:16” printed on the bottom of Forever 21 bags?
MM: Don and Jin Sook Chang, owners of Forever 21, are incredibly devout Christians. It seems kind of weird, but a ton of people use their businesses to expout their religious beliefs. For the record, John 3:16 is The New Testament passage that says, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him shall not perish, but have everlasting life.” What it means, well, your guess is as good as mine.
AB: Because “It’s 2009, and you just spent $23 on acid-washed jeans” wouldn’t fit.
What kinds of materials can be recycled in the typical blue recycling bins that are in campus classrooms and offices? Sometimes I just see them filled with white paper, but in other buildings like Park, they’re filled with recyclable plastic products and discarded paper cups and things. What can I recycle here?
MM: The blue containers around campus are supposed to be exclusively for paper that has been uncontaminated by food. If they’re inside smaller academic offices, they usually have what UB Green called black “trash buddy” which is for regular unrecyclable trash.
AB: One time, Jeff recycled, and he got free pizza. I hope that helps.
Whenever I like someone, I tend to imitate their behavior and delve into their interests, and I am afraid to share my own. Then, they all usually end up dating others whose personalities are similar to the way that mine usually is when I’m not nervous and full of butterflies. Why can’t I just be myself?
MM: Imitating someone’s behavior is a nearly unavoidable byproduct of having an intense crush. Unfortunately, there’s not a lot you can do to prevent that—it’s a biological reaction to falling in love. Anyway, explaining to someone how to not be shy and nervous is nearly impossible. All I can say is, what do you have to lose? It sounds like what you’re doing isn’t working anyway, so why not be yourself?
AB: No, no, no. Don’t discourage the poor girl. Are you cute? I’m trying to find someone that’ll listen to Ween and eat calzones with me. Feigning interest is fine as long as you can make it believable, and come on, how hard could it be to fool me, right? Plus, I’d really like to have sex in those study cubes at Abbott Hall before I graduate, and this fella doesn’t fuck outside of relationships. You hear that, ladies? I’m not entirely morally reprehensible.
What’s the difference between Tylenol, aspirin, and Motrin? I never know which to
take. Help!
MM: All of these are pain relievers, but are different types and which you take is completely up to your own personal preference. Each is made from different chemical compounds and has its own pros and cons. Advil is a brand name for ibuprofen, which is often irritating to the stomach, but happens to be my pain reliever of choice. Others prefer Tylenol, or acetaminophen, which isn’t an anti-inflammatory so it wouldn’t help your arthritis! They’re all mostly safe when taken in small doses, so ask your doctor which he/she thinks is best for you.
AB: When it comes down to anything consumable, from burgers and ‘dogs, to pills and pudding, I like to divide everything into two categories: Things you can drink with, and things that you can’t. We must note the very fine line that differentiates the concept of doubt we present with the negative cautionary contraction. Some “don’ts” are bigger than others, you see, so please do your own personal research on this particular matter of preference/health care, and then take it to step two: Price. When it comes down to aches and pains or life-or-death situations, I like to take the thrifty route. Yes, your box might say you are the industry’s most proven product of your kind, but I already have a headache so I don’t need to try to crunch the numbers to figure out how many tables I’ll need to bus to make the ringing in my ears disappear. This is usually why I stock up on pills I find on library floors. It’s not like they make a pill that hurts you, right?
When I eat suckers, they cut up the roof of my mouth. How can I enjoy them without the unnecessary pain that comes with them?
MM: You probably shouldn’t be biting down on them. Suckers, or lollipops, can often cut up your mouth, or even worse, permanently damage your teeth when biting down on them. They’re called suckers for a reason—you’re supposed to suck on them! They are not for those who lack patience.
AB: Take the good with the bad. Frankly, there isn’t much that can outweigh the palatable punch of a savory sphere of sucrose. If you are trying to find things wrong with candy, I think you’re just trying to pick a fight. And let me tell you: this is one fight you can’t win.
