It is 7:30 pm Wednesday night, drizzly and cold outside, and your roommate has passed out on the couch while watching Powerpuff Girls. You have a Psych midterm Friday, and you are still in your pajamas. Do you: A) Head outside for a brisk evening jog B) Shower and get dressed so you make it to your TA’s review session or C) Sit in front of the computer and surf aimlessly only to realize at 3:27 am that you have wasted yet another evening?
To all the liars who chose A or B, put this down and go pick up a copy of the Spectrum. But for the honest few who recognize that they have the motivation of slime mold, we here at Generation wholeheartedly support your mass killing of brain cells. For this reason we have compiled a list of great web sites at which to waste your time. Some of them are actually enjoyable or even useful; others make you wonder why some people are allowed access to a computer.
www.bored.com - This is the ultimate time-waster: a compilation of links to just about any web site that will hold your attention. Do not visit this site if you have any pressing engagements for the next eight hours.
http://www.turoks.net/cabana/BubbleWrap.asp - Virtual Bubble Wrap. There is a link to this from the bored.com site, but it deserves to be mentioned separately. It will frighten you to learn how easily amused you are. If you spend more than 15 minutes at this site, please contact the appropriate medical professional.
www.uselessknowledge.com - Haven for Who Wants to be a Millionaire fans.
www.mulletsgalore.com - Everything you ever wanted to know about the mysterious hair phenomenon, including tips for going on a mullet hunt.
www.download.com - Tons of free downloads including screen savers, games, utilities, mp3 rippers, and so on. (Especially entertaining for those of you with high-speed connections.)
www.htmlgoodies.com - This site is actually quite useful; it's a guide to teaching yourself html. Now you too can become a geek with a crappy web page! It’s surprisingly easy.
http://web.qx.net/antisquirrel/ - A site dedicated to alerting the masses to the evils of squirrels, and taking militant action. Which is scarier: the vicious squirrels, or the gun-toting maniacs who want to take them out? You decide.
www.darwinawards.com - “Celebrate the theory of evolution by commemorating the remains of those who improved our gene pool by removing themselves from it in really stupid ways.” Fascinating.
http://users.uniserve.com/~sbarclay/negpoet.htm - Some people never get over the loss of a beloved pet. I’m not sure if Sea Monkeys qualify as pets, but this is the place to find heartfelt dirges in memory of these bizarre creatures. Get inspired and submit your own poetry.
http://pemtropics.mit.edu/~jcho/spam/ - Along the same lines is a site from MIT consisting of Spam haikus. Yes, that is Spam, as in mysterious pink luncheon "meat." Apparently not all MIT students are future rocket scientists.
www.supergreg.com - As Super Greg himself (!) says: "This is my home site for all home
boys and home chicks, giving U a flava of the Super Greg Concept. If U have a problem with it or think U can do it better, it's your problem (not mine)." I'm not sure whether this site is a joke or not. Either way, it's funny.
http://www.yankeetown.org/cscola/The80s.htm - Feeling nostalgic? This site has links to quizzes, best-song lists and pop trivia--basically everything about the 80's you care to remember, and then some.
http://www.darksites.com/souls/horror/evilguide/index.html - “So You’ve Decided to Be Evil:” a step-by-step guide, complete with pre-answered hate mail.
www.georgewbushstore.com - Yes kids, your prayers have been answered. You can now buy all your George W. Bush merchandise from the convenience of your own home!
http://www.instantmag.com/features/elvis.htm - “Is Elvis Presley Still Alive?” Several honest-to-goodness theories in support of Elvis Presley’s continued existence. It will make a believer out of you.
www.bringbackkirk.com - Perhaps the most disheartening waste of Internet space is a web site for Star Trek fans who are vehemently campaigning to bring back Captain Kirk. Sorry, guys, William Shatner is too busy exploring his rap career.
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More fun with your computer: If you have Word for Windows, type in the sentence "I'd like to kill Bill Gates." Highlight it, and hit Shift+F7 (for the Thesaurus). See what the Thesaurus "suggests."
