I recently received a letter that accused me being, of all things, a liberal. I would have loved to have made sure this letter was printed on the "Letters" page, but unfortunately the chickenshit who wrote it didn’t have the balls to sign it. So, I’ll just go through and respond to it here, and if the right wing asshole wants to identify themselves, I’ll be happy to say all of this to his or her face.

(S)he wrote the letter in response to my last edit note which was titled "Rockin’ the Casbah/ I Got a Missile Defense System… In my Pants," and his/her letter was cleverly titled, "RE: Rockin’ the Casbah/ I Got a Missile Defense System… In my Pants." His/her first point is that I "assume from lack of knowledge… that the United States is so secure that it doesn’t need a defense." I never said that we don’t need a defense, in fact, I think we do need a defense, but one that actually works instead of sinking money into something that has never been proven to function properly.

(S)he then goes on to give an example as to why we do, in fact, need a Missile Defense System, in the form of an anecdote. I won’t bore you with the details of the story, but I will point out that it is over 50 years old, involves two world leaders that are now dead and one of the countries involved no longer exists. I’m not sure how much credibility I should give to it.

Seeing that (s)he could find no actual facts to discredit in my edit note, (s)he decided to just attack the left in general. "The left, it also seems, speaks with one droning mindset… the left can only rehash what they read and hear by their leaders and master." I don’t known who this big liberal master is but I’d love to find out. I bet he’s a lot like Yoda only he would be in favor of blaster control and making sure all Storm Troopers make 6.00 Republic Credits an hour.

(S)he also talks about how liberal writers have no original ideas, how every liberal policy ever has failed and needed to be replaced, and how it’s liberals fault if high school graduates can’t read or think for themselves. I don’t know folks, I suppose I could go through and refute those point by point, but I’m getting bored, and since (s)he gives no facts to back up his/her argument I really can’t justify spending any more time with this.

I recently noticed that I spend a good deal of time in my edit notes coming from the negative tip. So, let me give you a list of all the things I love and end this thing on a positive note.

I love…

Coca Cola

Kitty cats

Big Macs

Girls Gone Wild

Knight Rider

Bay Watch

Okay, David Hasslehoff in general

Clowns that flash people

Bunny rabbits

Stepping in dog shit

Making fun of conservative halfwits.

And, of course, nudie pictures of Katie Holmes.

See, I can be positive, but who would really like to see me write an edit note about Big Macs or Kitty Cats?

And, on a final note, I would just like to point out what a fine job our Student Association treasurer Chris Oliver has been doing this year. Good Job Chris.