The following is a list of entertaining "How To’s" that our twisted writers compiled for your entertainment. These are intended solely for entertainment purposes. Generation Magazine in no way endorses illegal activity of any sort. Enjoy.
How To Make Jello Shots
Mike Carbone
Jello shots are quick and easy to make. They taste good, look cool, and get you hammered. You can eat one of your favorite desserts, and get trashed at the same time!!! Bill Cosby would definitely approve!
Next time you have a party, pick up a bottle of Vodka or Everclear, along with your favorite flavor of Jello (Sparkling Jello works better). For every two cups of Vodka or Everclear, use three packages of Jello, with sugar, and three cups of water (unless you want chunks of Buffalo's mystery minerals in your shots, use spring water instead of tap water).
Now the simple preparation begins: boil the three cups of water and add the three packets of Jello to the boiling water. Stir the Jello/water mix until the Jello is completely dissolved. Next, add the two cups of Vodka or Everclear and continue to stir the three ingredients together. Pour the mixture into shot glasses, ice trays, or one ounce plastic cups (which are sold at any party supply store). Place the Jello shots and the container into the refrigerator and let them sit untouched until they are firm (this usually takes a couple of hours). To speed up the firming process, you can place the mixture in the freezer and the shots will come out fine.
When the shots are ready, take them out and serve them, or eat them all yourself. If having a party, place all the shots into a large bowl filled with ice, this will prevent the Jello from melting. Now get started!
How To Make Ice Block Shots
Mike Carbone
Ice block shots are always a huge hit at parties. They get you fucked up fast, and are an entertaining way to pass the time at a party. Nothing is better than an ice cold drink. Just run to the store to get a block of ice, the larger the block of ice the better. The longer the piece, the colder the drink is when it hits your mouth. There are numerous ways to set up ice shots at a party. The ideal way takes a few tools and some work. Sand the piece of ice down at an angle, until it is in the shape of a ski slope. If your time is limited, the sanding isn't necessary, just set one half of the ice block on your chemistry book that you haven't opened since September, and it will work just as well. Next, take a sharp tool and carve a straight, continuous path from the top of the ice block to the end. Make the path thick enough for a drink to flow down it (about 1/4 to 1/2 an inch), you can check to make sure using water (don't waste any of that liquor you'll need it). Try to make a small pool at the top of the piece of ice, although this isn't completely necessary, it will reduce alcohol spillage once everyone is wrecked and trying to pour the $50 worth of liquor that you bought down the block at the same time. Now keep the piece of ice in the freezer or in a cooler until the party starts.
Once everyone is ready to get hammered bring out the ice block! Have one person stand at the top of the ice block with the liquor (the pourer), and one person lay down at the end of the ice block on their back (the drinker). The drinker should be arranged under the ice block, so that when the liquor is poured down the bock of ice, it will fall into his or her mouth, and not all over the floor. The pourer takes a reasonable amount of liquor (one or two shots) and lets it roll down the ice block and into the drinker's mouth. The result will be an ice-cold shot, and after five or six, a nice warm buzz.
If you can not obtain a block of ice, or don't have enough time to follow through with the set-up, there is an interesting little invention that you can order. Drinkstuff.com sells ice trays that are in the shape of shot glasses. Just order the tray, wait for it in the mail, fill it with water, and freeze. The result is four freezing cold ice shot glasses per tray, they are good for the same purpose as the ice block shots, and each is exactly the same size as a regular shot glass. However, nothing beats the original ice block, and you should definitely try it out.
How to Roll your own cigarettes and "blunts"
Dutch E. Littrees
If this is your first time rolling your own cigarette, be sure to buy a bigger size rolling paper, such as Joker 1 1/2 or 1 1/4 size. The rolling paper will have a glue strip at one end and a fold in the middle. Hold the paper so that the gluestrip is on top facing you. Make a fold in the paper about half-way between the fold and the bottom of the paper. Fill the crevice created by the two folds with (tobacco). Note: if your (tobacco) is of low quality remove all unwanted sticks , stems, etc.
Hold the paper up, letting the (tobacco) get caught in the bottom fold. Try to distribute the (tobacco) evenly along the length of the paper almost to the ends. Keep a small amount of space at either end, this will prevent loss during the actual rolling. Fold this pocket of (tobacco) upward tightly and conitinue rolling upward until only the glue strip is left. Make sure that as you roll the paper you keep running your fingers along the length of the paper, continuously tightening. Don’t be afraid toslighlty unroll and re-roll a few times if you think it’s loose. Now, lick the gluestrip and wrap it tightly to the body of the cigarette. Dry it off briefly with a lighter and your’e ready to go.
The easiest cigar to roll is a Phillie Blunt. They are availb le at most corner stores and will usually cost about fifty cents. To begin you must slice the cigar open all along it’s length either with a blade or your fingers. Empty the contens of the Blunt into the garbage. Rip the rounded edge off, so that you have a rectangle shape d piece of cigar paper. Immediattely lick along all of the edges of the Blunt in order to keep the various thin pieces of paper stuck on the outside stuck to the inner leaf. Set aside for the moment.
Again, if you have low quality (tobacco) make sure to remove all unwanted sticks, stems etc. Place the (tobacco) into the Blunt paper slightly below the exact middle. Place a bit more in the middle than at the ends and, again, leave a little spave with no (tobacco) at the ends. Fold the bottom half of the Blunt paper over the (tobacco) and roll upwards. When you have rolled it completely, lick both pieces of Blunt paper where they will meet and seal. It is usually easier to roll it up loosely, and then go back and re-roll each end seperately in order to tighten it up. Continue re-rolling and licking until the Blunt stays rolled tightly by itself. Dry it off with a lighter, or if you’re really lazy, put it in the microwave for about 7-10 seconds.
How to make "special" brownies
Kristin Kunert
Ingredients:
1) one stick of butter (no margarine, and it must be unsalted)
2) one package of brownie mix
3) The ingredients called for on the back of the brownie mix package (minus
the oil)
4) Your favorite herbs (Half Ounce)
1. Slowly heat the entire stick of butter in a pot.
2. When butter is heated through, add your favorite herb, and turn off the stove.
3. After five minutes, turn the stove back on and simmer the butter. When the butter is almost to a boil, turn off the stove, cover, and let sit for five minutes.
4. Repeat this process seven to ten times.
5. Strain the butter in a metal strainer to remove large particles.
6. Use this butter, and follow the rest of the directions on the back of the brownie box.
7. Bake, let cool, and enjoy!
How to dump a one night stand
Kristin Kunert
"He was cute at the time..." Sound familiar? Now you can have as much anonymous and meaningless sex as you please without worrying about last night's dish becoming your new significant other. Here is how to get rid of that pesky one night stand from hell. If you don't care about their feelings, follow these steps:
1) upon waking up, look at them, groan, and turn over with your back to their face.
2) If they don't get the hint that you don't want to share your bed, get up, put on some clothes, and tell them that you are going to be late for your gynecologist appointment. Tell them you need to clear up that nasty infection. Or tell them that
you need to pick up your girlfriend of three years at the airport. For an added touch, remark how it is your anniversary, and her birthday.
3) If they insist on a number, give them a fake one, or tell them to call your (non- existant) cell phone.
4) Slam the door behind them, and throw something hard and pointy at your roommates who are laughing hysterically at you.
5) Avoid this method if:
a) He or she has cute friends
b) He or she is a friend of a friend
c) He or she gives good head
If you care about their feelings, do this:
1) Upon waking up, just leave the room and go watch T.V. Let them sleep.
2) When they wake up and find you fully clothed, eating lucky charms in the
kitchen with your roommate, they will realize (without saying a thing)
that this one night stand is over, and morning sex is out of the question.
3) Tell them that you will see them around campus. Do not say anthing along
the lines of "I'll talk to you later," or "it was fun." These statements simply imply that there will be a phone call, a date, a repeat of the night before, or worse.
And, above all, do not let them leave the premises with any of your personal belongings, be it a sweatshirt, a can opener, a UNC hat, or even a toothpick. This will only compel them to contact you again to return the items, and we all know how to use the UB phone directory. On the same note, make sure they have everything when they leave. This way they won’t have a legitimate reson to contact you. Even worse, they may ask your REAL girlfriend or boyfriend to pick up the item and bring it to class on
Wednesday.
How To Do A Keg Stand
Paul Nagle
One of the most infamous aspects of many college parties has been the irreverent consumption of large quantities of any alcohol present. Whether it is keg beer, mixed drinks, or just plain old hard liquor, everyone at these parties seems willing to get sloppy drunk. As much fun as this sounds, there is nothing more amusing than watching someone, anyone, make an attempt at their first keg stand.
Before you being though, check the tap. Many times the tap is not working well, or the keg has been shaken up, and no one can drink a minutes worth of foam. A keg that is pouring well makes this whole operation that much easier on all concerned. The foam is what makes people puke as soon as they are let down.
So how exactly is is done? First off, you will need a couple of strapping young men to hold your feet up in the air while you apply a death grip to the rim of the keg. Don’t let go and try not to slip, as this will end up in someone getting hurt, namely
you. So hold on tight.
You will need one person to help you with the tap, although many
people try to hold onto the hose themselves, so that they can stop the
flow of beer whenever they want. This one is your call. At any rate, all
you need to do, is open the tap and stick that disgusting black hose in your
mouth! Now, drink all the beer you can, the idea is to keep drinking
for as long as you can.
There are still a couple of things that you need to think about when
doing a keg stand. Check the tap. Many times the tap is not working well, or the keg has been shaken up, and no one can drink a minutes worth of foam. A keg that is pouring well makes this whole operation that much easier on all concerned. The foam is what makes
people puke as soon as they are let down.
Now you are ready to consume as much beer as possible in as short a
period of time as you can. But remember, practice makes perfect. You can’t
expect to be an expert guzzler right away, it takes a little time. Have fun
with it and you1ll get the hang of it, soon you1ll be ready to impress all
your friends. Just don’t leave your dinner in the toilet, or outside if you
can help it... vominting scares away potential hook-ups.
How to Make a Gravity Bong
Andrew Kiebala
You just bought an eigh th of some cheap (tobacco) and you want to enjoy its flavor fully. One way you can acomplish this feat is to make your own gravity bong. A gravity bong can be very efficient if you have the time, patience, and the space to make it happen.
To begin, you need to find an empty two liter bottle, and a bucket. Then you need to fill the bucket with water. The next step is to cut off the bottom of the two liter bottle, but set it aside for now. Next, you need to pierce the bottle cap to make a small hole n the middle of it. For those of you who have extra bowl pieces lating around, make sure it fits securely in the hole. For those of you who don’t have spare parts, find some aluminum foil, and mold a small piece into a bowl shape, and make pincholes in the bottom, and then place it securely into the bottle cap.
Now, you are ready to do some serious smoking. With the bottle cap and bowl screwed on lightly to the top, push the bottle to the bottom of the bucket. Making sure the bottle remains at the bottom of the bucket, pack your bowl. Next, light the (tobacco)as you slowly pull the two liter from the bucket. You should not let the bottom of the two liter come out of the water. When the two liter is almost out of the water, unscrew the cap (it may be hot), and put your lips over the top of the bottle. Now, do not suck, but breathe in, as you push the bottle back down into the water. The pressure will force an insane amount of smoke deep into your lungs. Ahh, flavor country.
